do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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