that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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