I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish I only lived at night.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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