It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
