Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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