omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize