I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
