does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize