You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
