The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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