I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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