What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
