Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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