The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
