we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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