What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
me + whiskey = a bad person
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
