WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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