Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
