The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
is wine microwaveable?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
