Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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