It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize