If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
