check it out our google latitudes are spooning
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
