I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
