what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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