Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Mom said you looked used
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
