she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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