no. you can't hotbox the world.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
