hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
