it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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