Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
