There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
