She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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