Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
