I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
