thus making me awesome and them whores
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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