You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
false alarm. still invincible.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
