ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
