Jerry, you need to find god
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize