He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
