FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
