I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
