I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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