All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
