if you like me you must not know who I am
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize