there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
