What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
