whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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