; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
