let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
