guys are not supposed to queef...right?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
