I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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