Screwed.edu
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
