He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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