The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
