I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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