i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
