haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
