do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
