on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
