i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
