They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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