Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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