Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
